His Worst Fear
by Peach and Tori Scott
Summary: It was his Boggart, the only thing he ever hated, and the only thing he ever REALLY feared. He never knew why people described it as beautiful; it wasn't. Oneshot.


**I am incapable of sticking with long stories, so here's a oneshot for our favorite werewolf. I tried to make this as accurate as possible. Enjoy.**

Remus Lupin usually loved Defence Against the Dark Arts.

"Today, we're doing Boggarts," said the new Dark Arts professor- Professor Tremaine. "Can anyone tell me what those are?"

Remus Lupin's eyes grew wide and he sprung up. "Hey, aren't we supposed to cover Boggarts in third year?"

"I won't be here third year. Don't you know about the curse on this job position? Tsk. I think I'll last the rest of this year, but…" Professor Tremaine shrugged. "Does anyone know?"

Severus Snape raised his hand boredly. "I do. They're shape-shifters. They can turn into whatever scares you most."

"Five points to Slytherin," said Professor Tremaine, nodding at Snape.

Bugger.

"Do we have to fight the Boggart?" asked Remus weakly.

"Yes," said Professor Tremaine quietly. "You HAVE to. Facing your fears is what makes them go away?"

"What if it can't?"

"Sorry?"

"What if your fear can't ever go away?"

Sirius Black and James Potter exchanged a look-a fear that couldn't go? Was it maybe Remus's dying mother (at least, the two boys assumed she was dying, why else would Remus go to see her every single sodding month)? But neither of the boys really believed that Remus's mother was ill. No one would go back and forth on a train just to see their mother. Well, maybe, but if his mother was in such grave condition, wouldn't she be dead or healed by now?

"All fears are lost someday," said Professor Tremaine dismissively. "No fear lasts."

_Mine does._

"I won't battle the Boggart," said Remus, folding his arms. "You can't make me battle the Boggart."  
>"It's-your-grade," said the lady, her teeth gritted.<p>

Some kids snickered. One Slytherin muttered, "What's YOUR fear, crappy grades?"

But Remus stared on. "Give me a zero, I don't care."

The professor ignored him. She was new, realized Remus. She didn't know what she was doing, she didn't know about his condition.

"Get in line, everyone," she said.

Remus hated her.

He got in line, at the end, his friends in front of him.

"Are you okay, Remus?" asked Peter, always the concerned one.

"Lovely," said Remus, his eyes burning. So now the whole school would find out, right? Unless they were stupid. But at the very least, his friends would find out. They'd abandon him. Peter would be scared of him. Sirius would be disgusted of him. James would loathe him. They were smart people; smart people like them would hate him, and he deserved it for being what he was.

"When I let the Boggart out," the professor was saying, "You'll face your worst fear. You have to say 'Riddikulus!' to change it to something funny. Then the next person can go."

"How?"

"James," said Remus quietly, tapping the other boy on the shoulder.

James turned. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Um, James, on a totally different subject, uh, if there was a crystal ball, and the...thing inside the crystal ball, you know, the vision, is, er, Lily Evans, say, dying, then how would you change that to something funny?"

"I'd change it to Evans breaking a crystal ball," said James thoughtfully. "Seems like something she'd do. Why?"

"Never mind. Can you tell Sirius or Peter to come over for a second?"

"Sirius!" James tapped him on the head. "Remmy called you."

"Hey," said Sirius as Remus dragged him a little farther away and Professor Tremaine continued to explain what they'd have to do to the Boggart. "What's up?"

"Sirius," said Remus. "Pretend you're, uh, a vampire."

"Yeah," said Sirius. "I'm pretending. Wait, you're not a vampire, right?"

"No, of course not." Remus frowned. "Okay. So. How could you make being a vampire funny?"

"How COULD I make it funny?" asked Sirius. "It would be REALLY cool, though….but if I were a paranoid arse like you, then I don't think being a vampire could ever be-"

"If it was your biggest fear," said Remus. "Do you think there's a way to turn it into-"

"Wait, let me go. They're practicing the spell, I need to know how to do it. Probably my worst fear is my lovely hag of a mother, so I'll turn her into a pig. Then she'll be harmless, and much prettier too. See ya, Remmy."

Remus followed Sirius to his place in line, and then plucked his other friend Peter from the crowd and dragged him away.

"Peter, if your worst fear was the sun, how would you make that funny?"

"I'd turn it into a bouncy ball. Maybe a balloon," said Peter, confused. "Why?"

"Thank you, Peter, you are my only useful friend. And the whole school is going to know why once I fight the Boggart," said Remus with a grim smile.

"Oh. Okay."

_What kind of person is scared of a mummy?_ thought Remus irritably. Honestly, it was just stupid. Mummies were illogical, stupid, and...did they exist? Remus was never quite sure of anything in the wizarding world, being a half blood. Probably the only thing he knew for sure was that werewolves existed.

_Very funny, Lupin._

As it turned out, Sirius's worst fear WAS his mother; honestly, Remus couldn't blame him for snorting with laughter when she turned into a pig. She seemed as much of a hag as Sirius always said.

James's worst fear was Lily Evans dying, and Remus looked around the class full of second years until he found Lily; she and her best friend, Snape were both red and fuming. Remus wondered if James would survive much longer.

More people went; fear after fear after fear and Remus couldn't help but think how RIDICULOUS all their fears were-eyeballs, clowns, heights, demons-it was all so stupid. An eyeball could never hurt you, it could never make your friends leave you, it couldn't make your family try to love you when they're supposed to just love you without TRYING. Clowns didn't exist, falling from heights could be solved with a Wingardium Leviosa, and demons? Really? Creatures with creepy faces?

_At least the demons don't live inside you, Bellington, _thought Remus bitterly.

One more person had to go, and then it would be Remus's turn. Lily, the girl right in front of him raised her wand as Death Eaters appeared. One of them took of his mask and it was Snape and he was turning his wand on her and the real Snape looked so shocked and so scared and James looked slightly murderous and then Remus realized that once Lily said "Riddikulus!", it would all be over because HE WAS NEXT and Boggarts saw your worst fear and he couldn't let it happen.

He ran.

"That was an interesting class," commented Peter. "I haven't seen Remus since he ran out. I think he's 'visiting his mother' tonight." Pete shrugged, then moved on to another topic. "Hey, what did Remus ask you all? Maybe if we put them together, that'll give us clues to what his worst fear is..." He glanced at Sirius and James.

"He asked me what I would do to my Boggart if it was a crystal ball with Evans dying inside of it," said James, frowning. "I told him I'd change it to Evans breaking a crystal ball. What about you?" He nudged Sirius.

"He asked me what I'd do if I was a vampire, and my biggest fear was being a vampire, basically. I said that I didn't think I'd be able to turn that into something funny."

"What 'bout you, Pete?"

"Oh," muttered Peter. "OH. I-he asked me what I would do if my worst fear's the sun."

"Effing hell," said James under his breath. "Pete, go get a lunar chart. Sirius, open the window and check if it's a full moon tonight."

Peter reached under Remus's bed for a lunar chart; Remus liked to collect them.

"I'm pretty sure it's a full moon, but it doesn't totally show yet," informed Sirius, flopping down next to James and Peter. "So, is it true, then? He's a werewolf?"

"Wait, I'm looking," said James, tracing the moons with his finger. "Yep. Werewolf."

"OH MERLIN, THAT IS SO COOL!" squealed Sirius, jumping around.

"Sirius, you sound like a girl. Sit," said James. Sirius reluctantly sat.

"BUT YOU'RE RIGHT, GODDAMNIT IT'S SO COOOLLLLLLL!"

"Hypocrite," mumbled Sirius.

James ignored him. "So, how're we going to help him?"

"Help him…?"

"Yeah, Pete, help him," said James.

"Well, we'll figure out that later. Now we just need to confirm that he's a werewolf. Here's the plan: when the moon fully comes out, he'll turn into the werewolf. Right now, I bet he's waiting in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey will probably walk him to wherever he goes to transform, and under the cloak, we can check if he really turns into a werewolf," announced Sirius, grabbing James and Peter's arms.

James nodded and brought the cloak from his pocket. "Let's go."

"Madam Pomfrey, I think we should get going," said Remus anxiously.

"Remus, we have plenty of time-"

"Please."

"Let's go then, dear."

"Oh Merlin, I might sneeze," whispered Sirius.

"Don't even think about it," whispered James. "And don't talk either, stupid. Remus has really good ears, remember?"

"Oh yeah...hey, why're they at the Whomping Willow?"

"You know how to get in, right, dear?"

"Yes, Madam Pomfrey." Remus brought out the stick and poked the knot under the tree, and it stopped whirling.

"Oh, Merlin, we have to effing try that sometime," whispered Sirius.

"Sirius, shut up," said Peter, dragging James and Sirius under the Willow after Remus.

"Wait, Pete, what if he is a werewolf? He'll kill us!"

"Too effing bad," said Sirius, shrugging. "C'mon, James, it'll be okay."

"I'm the only one here with some sense," muttered James, following Sirius and Peter.

There was Remus, sitting there with his head in his hands. Waiting to become a werewolf.

"We're in the Shrieking Shack," said Sirius.

Remus looked up. "Guys, get OUT of here? Are you idiots crazy? Don't you-get out!"

"You're a werewolf," said James.

"Okay! Yes! I'm a werewolf. I know, I'm a monstrous creature, I don't deserve to be in Hogwarts, get OUT of here! Don't you know that I can hurt you? I could turn you all into what I-"

"Idiot," said Sirius. "You don't think we're judging you for it, do you?"

"Yes," said Remus fiercely. "I do. No one likes a-"

"Shut up, arseface," said Sirius. "You're a werewolf, don't you realize how goddamn cool it is?"

"It's not cool, I could kill you," said Remus. His voice dropped. "We'll talk about this in the morning. Get out of here. GET OUT OF HERE."

"We can't-"

"Don't act like FUCKING HEROES!" The moon was slowly peeking out from behind the clouds, and now. "Get out. Before I kill you. Please. PLEASE."

"We'll go when the moon comes," said Peter. "We need to help you."

"You can't," whispered Remus.

The moon was out.

The pain took over; all of his bones were on fire, everything he ever said or did didn't matter anymore, but mostly his heart hurt.

He was almost it: the werewolf. "Go," he managed, the pain taking over everything he'd known. "GO!"

The three boys threw the cloak on. "See ya, Remmy," Sirius said, his voice a little sad.

Then they hurried off

Remus saw the moon.

He never got why people thought of it as beautiful; it wasn't. It was the only thing he'd ever hated, thought the boy. But his thoughts were foggy; the werewolf was taking over. Remus Lupin catched one last glimpse of the moon.

His worst fear.


End file.
